i just ran onto my porch and screamed “CAN I JUST FUCKING BE GOOD ENOUGH TO ACTUALLY MAKE YOU FEEL SOMETHING” and a guy rode by on a bike and screamed “YOU ARE PERFECT AND YOU MAKE ME FEEL ALIVE”
wow fuck thank you stranger thank you very much
My dad and I at dinner
- Dad: Can I ask you a serious question?
- Me: Sure, I guess
- Dad: Have you ever "made it to third base..." you know, with a guy?
- Me: .......*BURSTS OUT LAUGHING UNCONTROLLABLY*
- Me: .................
- Me: .................................
- Me: .........
- Me: ........................
- Me: When you're sliding into first and your pants are about to burst.....DIARRHEA
- Dad: .....................
- Me: .....................
- Dad: Okay.
I want to thank you for never being there. Your absence has forced me to find my own way.
— Counterparts (via theperksofbeingstargirl)









